Filed under: ex partners, Uncategorized | Tags: cheating, love, mother in law, picky, porn, sex, small dick, soap series
Starring: Dame D’Amour and some of her ex boyfriends.
It would not be the first time people tell me: “Gosh, your life sounds like a soap series”. Not exactly my aim, to be honest. As a journalist I just happen to have a full life, a healty social agenda and well… I’m quite peristent when it comes to love. No one night stands for me. Give me one good man who treats me well. That kinda girl. Which results in me telling endless stories about the same guys over and over, just to come to the conclusion they are just simply not good enough for me. Or i’m too picky. Still haven’t decided what’s more accurate.
Sadly I have not met any good man for ages. Ok, not ages, more like 3 years. T and me were madly in love for 3 years. Too bad his acid mother had to make my life hell. I think she drinks vinegar for breakfast, would explain her moods, no wonder her husband cheated on her. Twice. So instead of wishing her kids a happy life she makes sure they feel as miserable as she does. Love is a fairytale, isn’t it?
So from T (perfect dick, great sex) I went to K. The K of “Kame to early”. He had been pursuing me for more than a year. And my ego was crippled after the 3-year-hell, so eventually I said “Ok, let’s try it, maybe I misjudged you.” That’s where I learned my leason: always listen to your intuition. And boy, was it screaming to me. “He’s not strong enough, he does not have enough experience with relationships, you will walk over him.” And so I did. The worst part? The sex was awful. He had a very small dick. I’d say 12 cm erect, but small as a candle. For some reason it reminded me of mushrooms. First time we had sex, I freaked out. Imagine, I was always used of having giants and suddenly i had a dwarf in my hands. A dwarf that got excited from the moment I laid my finger on it. One minute tops to come. So forget blow-jobs (not that i had any intention of doing the dwarf), forget doggy style, forget teasing around. But welcome best orgasms ever. No clue how he did it, and pretty sure he didn’t either as he told me he was still a version when we met. But somehow the dwarf was able to rub against the best parts. So I kept him for 6 months. But than the guarantee expired.
Fast forward six months. Sharing a bed with a long-time friend, S, with whom I had been in love for quite a while. He came on to me, and I was happy. Good sex too, not that very special, but ok. Sadly he betrayed me with his ex-girlfriend, and another ex-girlfriend and apparently the girlfriend of his best friend who had been together with her for 6 years. Ever heared of: “You don’t know your friends until you share their bed?” Well, I concur. So exit friend after a month. And somehow in the weeks following my discovery he was fired from several positions in several international organisations. Really no clue how that happened *look very innocent*. Ok, maybe I do… Let’s say people where really “disappointed” in his behaviour and could not work anymore with him in a close team. Bummer isn’t it? Too bad he did not realize who he was dating, and moreover how much people liked me. It sure was an ego-boost for me.
Recently heard S is gonna marry that girlfriend of his ex best friend. Good luck with that girl. I heared through the grapevine he has cheated on you twice already. Sure gonna make a great dad.
So basicly that was it in the last years. Ok, expect for that short-time flirt with D, a latino stud 20 years older than me, but looking only 10 years more wise. Huge dick. He thought he was small. Quite similar to this porn actors equipment. Sadly he behaved like one too. I like tenderness and passion. He liked vulgarity. So bye bye after 2 sessions. At least I got laid for once.
So basicly I am a good girl. Only 26 years old and still able to count her sex partners on one hand. These days that’s quite rare. And now that I got all the sex stuff out of my system, it’s time to move on to my real passion: LOVE.
On the next episode: Dame D’Amour is fed up with the French man she has been secretly dreaming of in the last year. Tune in!
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