My private soap series

Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain’t afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can’t deny a woman’s wort

Alicia Keys

I could start by saying I have decided to say bye bye to the French guy that has been haunting my dreams for lots of months now. After reading lots of women-empowering articles like “He’s just not that into you” I realised I was spending a huge part of my life listening, helping and chatting with a guy who was flirting like a madman but was not acting like it. Some examples? “Honey, you know one day you will be my wife.” “My Queen, my mermaid.” “What a women you are!” “You are so beautiful, your eyes just kill me.” “You are so creative, so beautiful, so smart.” “One day I’ll buy this lingerie set for you.” “My parents have been asking for you.” For a year now I have been listening to all his fears, his irritations about his work, the bad experiences of his past and especially the big secrets he tells no one because he is afraid that they are gonna judge him.  Like that time that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant 6 months into the relationship, she told him, and the day after she went to have an abortion without telling him. Hard indeed.

His latest moves? He wants to move to my country, because real estate is so much cheaper and he could easily find work. He knows his languages so that would not be an issue. So lately I have been asked to give my opinion about job ads, looking at plans for lofts, etc. All very cute. But isn’t a man who’s in love, supposed to jump on the first plain/train/bike he can get to be around you? So lots of bla bla and little action.

I decided it has to end. Finito. I’m 26 and I want a good relationship, a man who worships me and is worth me. And boy will that man be a lucky guy. I am charming, outgoing, good looking, I am an excellent cook, I can sow (I design my own evening dresses), I can draw, I can write, I play several instruments and I am ambitious. Next to that I’m just a softie: love to cuddle up to my boy, listen to him, give him a save harbour, cook him delicious meals and host original parties. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink. Love to do little adventurous trips, to discover more about the world around me. Oh and I’m great in bed.

My social life is extensive. My circle of friends selective. My best friends have been around for almost 20 years, we know each other and love each other dearly. Sometimes I am afraid that a new guy could never measure up to what I have with my best friend Jules. But when I see her and her wonderful boyfriend I feel jealous. I want to have what they have. After all these years they still look in each-others eyes with so much love and passion. He has been at her side through bad and good times, and even though he’s 10 years older than her, he interested on her to make her own mistakes: “That’s part of the process of growing up, you have to go through that phase.” Simply adorable.

So I was fed up. I decided that Frenchie had reached the expiration date. So in the last 2 days I have not been contacting him anymore. Yesterday he was on-line a whole evening but did not speak to me. Until. OK, when he went to bed he just send me the “kiss”-emoticon. So at least he thought about that gesture. Today same story, but this time no kiss. I’m just wondering how long will I be able to hold in all the anger I’m feeling right now. Sit back, relax, and see how long it takes him to really make an effort.

I would love to tell him: “I came to realize I am spending vast amounts of my evenings talking to you. Time I could easily spend on meeting new people, going out, date. And maybe meet someone who is ACTUALLY interested in me and sees what I’m worth. It is so easy to spend those evenings talking to you. All your flattery is tempting and gives me an ego boost. But let’s be honest, what’s the use of it all? You are not going to make a move and in the mean time I’m wasting my time.”

Good idea or not, what do you think?